Valuing relationships before they end

January 25, 2011
posted by Admin

Today, I said goodbye to someone I love. It was very painful but mostly my heart ached. I felt for both of us as she granted me this last goodbye hug. I had expected this move…the sudden withdrawal….not returning phone calls. I knew that the separation was imminent and now it was here!
Up to now, I had never really thought about the natural cycle of a relationship. To take the step of loving another human is risky! Now, once I stepped out into loving someone and I am committed in a relationship, there is a beginning, middle and end to a relationship. At the start of the relationship, we often don’t realize this. We are flooded with feelings of curiosity and excitement about the other. We believe and hope that this beginning can last forever. We trick ourselves into thinking and believing that this is the way I should feel when I am with this person. We feel nourished when we are with this person, male or female, it doesn’t matter. Oh, our expectation that suspends us through the air of possibilities! But then, we are forced to view the reality, the limitations of time and space – the limitations of our simple, human condition. It is certainty that all relationships will come to an end!
We plead with our God, the Universe, Mother Nature to keep the love energy flowing between me and the other – that our relationship with the one we love will never end. But, of course, it must! When this happens, we are heart-broken!
It is the heart break that draws us to appreciate the middle, which most of us would agree is the daily, hum-drum part of the relationship. We also know in our heart of hearts, that this is the staple, the life-blood of any relationship. It’s like licking the cream out of an ordinary, yet quite extraordinary Oreo cookie! If we could enjoy the day to day with those we profess to love, the way we enjoy that Oreo cream, the quality of our lives would be vastly improved!

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