Losing a pair of earrings…

November 22, 2010
posted by Admin

I lost my favorite pair of earrings. They were gold leaves connected to a single beautiful real pearl and anchored by a tiny clump of jade. They were so pretty and handmade by an artist in SoHO…therefore a one of kind piece! My husband bought them for me on a spontaneous, romantic jaunt to the city. At first, I thought I could locate them, somehow, but as hours passed, the truth of the matter had settled in and I was heart broken. Then, within twenty four hours, I had lost my inhaler and my favorite black golfing jacket. Again, I searched and searched and again to my dismay, I couldn’t locate either. So, I resigned myself to re-order the inhaler and to skip on the jacket until I play golf again, sometime in the spring. Disappointed and despairing, I was angry at myself and unable to “let up” on myself, at all. I turned to my piano for comfort. Practicing only distracted me; as soon as I finished I was in my sad, sorry state of upset. I told myself that I was careless; I didn’t care much about my things; I didn’t pay attention to the details in life. It may sound dumb, but I was heartbroken over these losses. I understood that I was much more attached to objects than I had realized.
Later that weekend, on an unusually cold Sunday morning, when my body was tired and I didn’t want to relinquish the ease and warmth of my bed, I had a strange, out-of-the-box thought. A tiny voice in my head said “Pat, the first part of your life, you collect and the second part, you let go!” Realizing that I was clearly into my second half of life, I was titillated by this thought from beyond my consciousness. I pulled myself to wake up more fully. I felt a tug of war go on in my mind: One end there was the ghost of fogginess; the other end serene clarity!
During the day I contemplated on the idea of “letting go of things,” I experienced myself as less confused and more still inside. It is time to “not collect” things. It is a time to be open to other ways of comfort other than what I have known.
Knowing that I take everything to an extreme, I asked myself, does that mean food should no longer be a comfort? Should I put myself on a diet purchasing beautiful romantic earrings? Should I sell my golf clubs? (You know, the clubs that went along with the lost jacket) These questions were enough for me to run to grab my inhaler, which as you will recall, I have lost and need to replace. Calming myself down, I realized that it means something simpler. Something that is like self-forgiveness, you know…where the mental attitude is one of taking myself off the hook of perfection and materialistic neediness. Instead of anxiously moving in the direction of control; move in the direction of letting go! Releasing! Giving in! Not having control over every detail. It is time to let go of different objects and expectations that I carried around the first half of my life. That in the tiny ways that life reminds us, letting go is the process of seeking peace!

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