Become aware of your feelings!

August 8, 2010
posted by Admin


         Have you ever had the experience of arguing with someone then you go and tie your shoe and tug on it too hard and it breaks?  Or you are shopping at Macy’s or Target and you find yourself arguing with a store clerk, later while walking through the parking lot, you fumble through your purse and can not find your car keys?

        Or how about these examples from family life?  As a frustrated mother, you yell at your daughter for not brushing her hair before she leaves for a play date…then a few minutes later she bangs her head as she jumps into the car.  As a frustrated father, you criticize your 12 year old son for not shooting the ball when he had a free shot in his tournament basketball game.  After the game, the twelve year old cuts his finger as he cuts his peanut butter and jelly sandwich in two halves.  In each of these examples are these two separate events coincidentally connected or are they completely unrelated?

        Anger as well as all of our feelings can be viewed as energy.  We are wired to turn our energy (read also “feelings”) inwards in the form of self-attack or push our energy out in the form of yelling at someone.  How we handle our energy (feelings, especially anger) can be the difference between developing a confident and fearless sense of self or a deficient and “I’m stupid” sense of self.

        What is the healthy way of dealing with our energy/feelings?  In one word, AWARENESS!  We rush through our day, not realizing the effect we have on others.   We do not slow down to take note of how we are doing.  We often lack the necessary awareness that it takes to feel more in control of our feelings and therefore ourselves.  Instead of reacting to a situation, we need to slow down enough to mentally register with ourselves how we are feeling in the moment.  As we become aware of what we feel from moment to moment, we will be more in control of what we say and do to others.  When we are more tuned into and aware of what we feel, we can help ourselves and our children by thinking through our reactions!         

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